May 4, Star Wars Day - May the Fourth Be With You!

 

 

Return of the Snacki: Kozmo the Hutt Takes the Throne

Cast:

Kozmo the Hutt — ruler of the living room, master of naps
Marv Solo — smuggler of snacks, hero of the rebellion
Nutmegbacca — loyal, fuzzy, slightly confused but enthusiastic
Princess Jo Jo Laya — fierce, dramatic, and always ready to rescue (or cause) chaos

Opening Scene: The Throne Room (aka the Sofa in the Living Room)

Kozmo has claimed the sofa. Not just one corner — the whole sofa. He hasn’t merely claimed it… he has sprawled, melted, and oozed into it like a true Hutt.

 

“This is mine! All mine! Bwa!! Haa!! Haaa!!!”

Kozmo the Hutt

 

I, Marv Solo, swagger through the front door. I am hungry. But then I see him… Kozmo the Hutt.
I flick my tail. 

Kozmo growls.

But the treats are on the other side of Kozmo. I sit and wrap my tail around my toes. Kozmo the Hutt has blocked the only safe passage.

Act I: Negotiations Begin

Kozmo stares at me, growls again, and flicks his whiskers.

 

The Hero - Marv Solo

I, Marv Solo, offer him tribute:

• one (1) chin scritch
• two (2) polite meows
• three (3) crunchy treats

A low hissssssss fills the room.
Kozmo the Hutt wants — no, demands - more. Always more.
Should I offer my blanket?

Just then, the hairy slobbery beast Nutmegbacca bounds into the room! She wiggles! She giggles! She wags her tail, wanting to help! But her wagging tail knocks over a pillow, and when she grabs it to move it off Kozmo, she gets slobber all over his fur.

 

Kozmo Growled! He is incensed! A black arm lashes out and barely misses Nutmegbacca’s nose. 

She yelps.

 

At that moment - Princess Jo Jo Laya burst through the door (with a mouse in her mouth)! 

She dramatically lept over me,  and landed on the back of the sofa! She opened her mouth to declare I, Jo Jo Laya will free the galaxy from Kozmo’s tyranny…

…and the mouse dropped right in front of Kozmo. He thought it was a tribute to his glory and began gnawing on it.

Jo Jo Laya sat down, lifted her leg, and began grooming her tail - like this was all part of the plan.

 

Princess Jo Jo Laya

Act II: The Great Standoff

I, Marv Solo, am starving.

Kozmo is munching on the mouse Jo Jo Laya dropped.
This is the purrfect time for a daring maneuver!
I shall sneak past Kozmo the Hutt using the ancient Jedi technique known as “cat walking behind the sofa quietly.”

It fails...

instantly.

Kozmo stops gnawing and glares at me.
The room freezes.
Nutmegbacca whines.
Jo Jo Laya hissed! (at me).
I don’t DARE to move. I don’t DARE to breathe.

Act III: Victory Through Napping

Then, just when all hope seems lost…

Kozmo the Hutt fell asleep (mid‑glare).

I skitter through the room as fast as my legs will carry me - I am victorious!
Nutmegbacca celebrates with a full‑body wiggle and a leap over the sofa to the bay window.
Jo Jo Laya claims she orchestrated the entire thing.

The galaxy is safe.
The snacks are accessible.
Balance is restored.

“May the Fourth be with you… and may your snacks always be unguarded.”